Grass is (always) Greener (on the other side)..Well of course..

I am sure that you had heard of the saying 'the grass is (always) greener (on the other side). I will not deny it. There are times when I envy my brother's or sister's success in their business and their lives. A friend is successful in his or her online fitness classes. A neighbour who moved into a bigger house or bought a new Harley Davidson. In fact, those feelings of envy turns to anxiety, fear, and sadness. You are not alone in this especially during this pandemic period where the situation is Volatile, Uncertain, Chaos and Ambiguous (VUCA).

Grass is greener on the other side..well of course!

The grass is greener on the side means that people seem to be in a better situation than you. They seem to attract more clients, their business is growing better than yours, their family is wholesome and loving, their material needs are well-taken care and so on. You look at them and wonder how life would it be like if I am in their shoes. On the health side, I wish to have those six packs, curvy muscles, tight chest, v-shaped back and be in their shape or size. There are those days that I let myself dream of those things. Well of course, you want those things that they have. You are HUMAN and it is of course human nature to see others success and compare it with ourselves. All the more we get into a dismal mood and frustration will creep in .

Why is it greener on the other side?

The greener the grass might be attributed to many factors. Perhaps, the other person uses a better fertilizer than you. They may many workers to work on their farm and they are the ones who are responsible for it to be greener. These people are successful in whatever they do but there are certain things that they need to sacrifice like relationship with the family, loved ones and their kids. They may lived in a bigger house but the house is not filled with love and warmth. The grass is always greener on the other side but at what cost are those people willing to pay for to maintain it to be greener on their side over yours.

Struggles and Personal Experiences

Maya was born as a disabled person. She needs to use a wheelchair because both of her legs are deformed from birth. However, the spirit of her life is never extinguish. She started to run a florist business that was quite successful in Jakarta. Someone once asked her, "Do you not feel ashamed or upset about your current situation?" Maya did not turn angry at the question. She instead answered with a smile, "My life is precious in God's eyes. The Lily in the garden was given beauty by Him, of course God loves me more than the Lily, right? If God alone loves me, how can I not love myself? "

On a personal note, I was sadden when I my contract was not renewed and previously my position was taken away from me. I got frustrated that my applications were either unanswered or not given any reply from prospective employers. Furthermore, the uncertain condition of the pandemic does not help in appeasing the sadness, anxiety and fear that caused me to have some sleepless nights, red eyes, heart beat racing and sweaty palms. There are times that I do not wish to wake up from my bed to face reality and the stresses. One fine night when the moon is so bright that you can see the moonbeams into the room, I decided that to choose a different path from what I was before.

The Alternative View of Looking at Your Grass

During this VUCA period, the struggle within ourself become apparent. I guess I am lucky to have great mentors and coaches to support me. I would like to share it with you on some of these ways and who know it might help you too.

Be present with yourself physically, emotionally and mentally

When you wake up this morning, what are the first words that you utter either in your mind or to those people around you? As simple as being grateful that you are awake to start your day and see your loved ones will certainly perk up the day. Be mindful that your limbs and other parts of the body (I mean your heart, lungs, kidneys, intestines among others) are functioning well. Doing some exercises will certainly help you physically too. In addition, recognise the 'tell-tale signs' of your body if it is under stress.

For the emotional side, there will be times that you will wake up on the wrong side of the bed. However, you can either choose to let your emotions go unchecked and let everyone in your home, office or the public know you are miserable and like a dynamite exploding at everyone. or you see the beauty of the morning with the sun rays into your room and let that feeling radiates to those around you.

Closely link to the other two, be present mentally is also important. The mind is a very powerful tool. A coach shared with me that the mind can either shape or break you. I choose the former. The mind is always sending out signals and I am sure you familiar setting of the mind i,e, the flight or fight syndrome. She shared that activities such as meditation, some breathing techniques and other tension relaxing exercises will help to calm the mind. On that note, it certainly helps me a lot as I tend to be creative, open to possibilities and willing to take risks. Journal writing will to a large extent too as it reflects on the way you feel. There is noting wrong or right in your journal so start writing.

Grateful with what you have

I am living in an apartment and I do have some online customers for my online workout sessions. I am conducting webinars to share my friend's expertise to a wider audience. The crowd depends on the topic on the week. (Advert break: We are having a talk with Nutritionist this coming Friday, 24 July 2020, drop me an email if you want to join from overseas). All these are my results from me taking risks and being open to possibilities that comes. I am able to give alms and I don't care the amount that I give because there are many out there who may not be as comfortable as I am . There are so many things to be grateful about so do not dwell too long in your sorrows.

Surround yourself with people who support and love you os who you are

I am grateful that I have a supportive family. They are always there whenever I need someone to talk, pour out my fears and anger, and good listening ear. I have some friends who is willing to go the extra mile to support me too. I am grateful to have a wife who is always on my side. My biggest critique and loudest supporter whom I can rely on whenever the chips are down.

I certainly hope that these tips are helpful and it motivates you. The grass is always greener on the other side but you can make your grass greener than others. Live your life to your potential and be grateful with the possessions that are in your life right now. Each day is a present in your life and that is why it is called a present. I would like to thank my coach Lily whom inspired me to write this article and others who had supported me through this period,

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